Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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