question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
