K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
