Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
