a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize