i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
