Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize