There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
