East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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