How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
