2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
