I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
