i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize