Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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