I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
