just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
