so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
