Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
they're like a gay fantastic four
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
