I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
