oh god the rape fog is back!
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
