in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
