I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize