Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
