the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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