so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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