And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
