Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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