i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize