i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
