We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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