dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
