I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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