Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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