If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You need Xanax blowdarts
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
