everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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