the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
