maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I love having hate sex.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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