**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
