Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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