$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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