Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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