You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize