we have officially lost it.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
