I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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