I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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