Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
