hotel room ftw
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
