Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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