I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
