The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
