He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
