You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize