I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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