Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
