I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize