You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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