I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
