Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
