Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
