its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
This gyro tastes like lonliness
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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