she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
