We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Vodka?
Forever.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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