So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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