Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I should be sponsored by Trojan
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
COCAINE IS GR8
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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