SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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