I accidentally had phone sex last night
You're earring is so big in my mouth
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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