im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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