My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
