Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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