Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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