first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
