yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
