The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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