OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
