So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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