yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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