I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize